The U.K. lockdown was a hard and strange experience for me. It was a situation that I’ve never found myself in before. As the doors to freedom were closed by force,  all I had was my house. These four walls would be my safety, my security and what I would end up seeing more than anything else. I had to make the most of it. This is how I survived. I had no choice but to get used to it, live with it. I decided I might as well make the most of it and at least try to be as positive as possible.

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What kept me busy and reassured me was my amazing daughter, my music and realising I was a creative person and indeed saner and stronger than I could ever have imagined. Most importantly, my faith in God gave me hope in an unknown future. All I could rely on was this hope that things would get better. I now had time to do the things I could not do before. I had always been busy, and now all I was left with was this spare time. I learned that what you are left with when you have nothing else to do is to discover yourself, your passions in life and who you are. The answer for me was music and creativity. I managed to prove to myself that my music and creativity were indeed something I needed, that they were a part of me. I had lost interest for a while, but when there was nothing left, that is what I turned to.

I realised I was stronger and better than ever, that I was more 'normal' than what I thought I was and that I was actually coping, just like everyone else.  I developed a new confidence in myself and in who I was, not relying on other people’s opinions of me. My faith in Jesus (without which I would have no hope) and the church services online kept me busy. I had a wonderful opportunity to bond more with my child, who means the world to me and whom I had to protect more than ever. I realised she is indeed a blessing, a key to happiness and a part of me I cannot let go of.  I know that my best friend is always going to be there for me through thick and through thin. I found out who I was and what I needed when all I had was a hope for a better day. My faith got me through this, realising when all is gone my hope cannot be taken from me, I delve into the Bible and scriptures!

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MCFB service user, October 2020.