To mark White Ribbon Day 2020 and the start of 16 Days of Activism 2020, we share the story of Teresa*

“The main problem is that it is really difficult getting out of and leaving a violent relationship.  Not knowing what would happen after leaving, worrying about how to manage as a single mum with children as well as financial worries were the major reasons I struggled to leave.

I was in a better position than most as I was financially independent.  I feel strongly that more needs to be done to make it easier for women to leave.  My niece just got out of a violent relationship. She had attempted to leave four times but always went back.  In the end I helped her find a job so that she was financially secure and could leave, knowing that she could support her children.  She also had a deep fear of the unknown.  I have seen this many times; women don’t leave because of their children.  We need to make it easier for women to feel that their children will be safe and taken care of in terms of housing and finances.

In my case, the violence was so bad I was hospitalised and I knew I had to leave as my life was at severe risk.  In the end I had to move continents to Scotland to find safety.  Immediately after leaving him, the children and I had to go into hiding for three years.  He would always track us down and find us and kick the doors in, smash the windows and destroy my car.  My children are now home bodies due to the three years of hiding we experienced.

Oddly there are still times I miss him and I understand why this is.

My worker at Multi-Cultural Family Base listened to me and offered me support many times and there are very few people I have been that open with.  Multi-Cultural Family Base is a place I can always go and not be judged.”

*not her real name

November 2020